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The StepFood Wives Blog is a bit of fun where we can share our trials and tribulations establishing and running a new business. Guess it will expand into other things as time goes on..you never know, it could become a Julie and Julia sensation (Ha Ha).

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    THE CHEQUE IS IN THE MAIL

    Victoria Bowring - Monday, December 06, 2010

    As the end of the year draws near, the silly season approaches and many of us organise to take our holidays – I am reminded of a conversation with my ex husband a couple of weeks before the last Christmas we spent together.

     

    It went a little like this:

     

    Ex: “I’m sooooo looking forward to closing up for Christmas. You have no idea how I need a break, have some time to myself.”

     

    Me: “You’re right dear, I’ve got no idea what it would be like to have a break and take some time for myself.”

     

    Ex: “But it’s different for you, you’ve always wanted to be a Mum.”

     

    Me: “Gee honey, I wasn’t aware that being an engineer and running your own company was something that you didn’t choose to do but were tied down and forced to!”

     

    Ex: “You know what I mean – it’s just different.”

     

    He was right.  It was different.

     

    HE GOT PAID!!!!!!

     

    Rather than pursue a futile and circular argument I went about proving my point in a very civilized, calm, considered and passive aggressive way.

     

    It went a little like this:

     

    Child minding 24hrs/day                                                                        $305,760

    Prepare and Cook Meals 7days/week                                                      $  44,200

    Chauffer 28hrs/week                                                                             $  50,960

    Washing 8 loads/week                                                                           $    2,080

    Ironing 1 basket/week                                                                           $    2,340

    House Cleaner 1day/week                                                                      $    5,200

    Book Keeper 2hrs/week                                                                         $    5,720

    Sexual Services 1hr/week                                                                      $  52,000

     

                                                                                        TOTAL            $468,260


    I presented him with a breakdown of what it would cost if he had to pay for somebody to do for the family what I did. I only included the basics (except for the sexual services – those rates I based on high class escorts of course!).

     

    I didn’t allow for the psychologist that would be required for the emotional support for him and the kids; the tutor that would be required to teach the children how to button their clothes and wee in the toilet; the dietician that would consult with the cook to ensure the meals were balanced and nutritious; the nurse that would be called on to administer band-aids to skinned knees and chicken soup in times of ‘man flu’; the hostage negotiator that would be called upon to talk the five year old into letting the two year old out of the wardrobe – need I go on?

     

    I did however bring to his attention that not only did I do $468,260 worth of work per year for NOTHING I also did it without holiday pay; sick leave; public holidays; superannuation; end of year performance bonus; long service leave or paid parental leave if the family got any bigger!!

     

    In response, my [EX] husband, very kindly pointed out that I did get my own parking space, before assuring me that “The cheque’s in the mail!!”

     

    Well this year, as he so confidently said back then, “It’s different.”

     

    This year I need a break – some time to myself – and I’m taking it. The children are going to their father’s and he is going to find out just how different it really is!!!

     

    I hope that all the hardworking mums out there do get some time to themselves these holidays and indeed a well deserved break.

     

    Bye for now

     

    Vic x