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The StepFood Wives Blog is a bit of fun where we can share our trials and tribulations establishing and running a new business. Guess it will expand into other things as time goes never know, it could become a Julie and Julia sensation (Ha Ha).

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    StepFood Wives Blog

    Confessions of a Domestic Goddess

    Victoria Bowring - Thursday, November 11, 2010


    During the week an acquaintance told me she envied the ease with which I seemed to live up to my Stepfood Wives title of ‘Domestic Goddess’.


    She clearly had visions of me whistling joyfully as I popped casseroles and cupcakes in and out of the oven; pristine apron over my crisply pressed day dress; makeup on and hair coiffed; my 4 year old and 2 year old sharing their toys and laughing gleefully in the backyard playing ring-a-ring-a-rosy; starched white sheets flapping in the breeze; all the smalls neatly folded and shirts and skirts ironed; and all happening in a bleached, disinfected and Mr Sheened environment.


    If only she knew that last week the life of this Domestic Goddess went a little more like this…


    My 2 year old set the tone (very loudly!) for the week at 4.46am Monday morning from the naughty corner. She’d wanted to ring nanna “NOW!” – as you do at that hour of the day. Needless to say it was the defiant smack in the face (my face that is!) that lost the battle for her. By then I was not only prepared to ring nanna, I was prepared to drive her over there, leave her on the front porch with a note pinned to her pyjamas, “I’ll be back to pick her up when she’s 21!” ring the door bell and drive off into the sunrise.


    There were no crisply pressed dresses and coiffed hair, but jeans pulled on from the floor where they were dropped the night before and t-shirts grabbed from the basket of ironing that was starting to resemble the Tower of Pisa. Still is!


    The sheets were no longer flapping in the breeze but were tortured and twisted around the washing line after weathering several days of wind and rain, and the only starching they got was from the odd day of scorching sun between the rainy ones. That reminds me; I probably should go and take them off. I wonder if I’ll need to wash them again.


    On Wednesday my 4 year old very politely enquired if I might know where all her undies went. Removing the lid on her laundry bucket was like opening one of those trick can of nuts with a snake inside and when I exclaimed “how much clothing can one small child wear in a week?!” she even more politely advised me that it wasn’t that she was wearing too many clothes I was just not keeping up with the washing!!


    The girls’ idea of sharing their toys looked suspiciously more like stealing them from each other and the gleeful laughter coming from the backyard was their delight in tormenting the hell out of one another - until it all ended in tears. Mine! I’m not sure if it was all of the above that brought me to tears or that it was all happening in an environment in which Mr Sheen had been kidnapped and Crackers the Clown had decided to squat in my lounge room.


    Yes, there were cup cakes and casseroles being popped in and out of the oven (after all that’s my job) but the joyful whistling was replaced with uncensored cursing each time I burnt myself, and whilst gourmet smells wafted around the kitchen on a regular basis, by dinner time on Friday night my darling little angels sat down to two big bowls of sultana bran. Who says cereal is a breakfast food?


    It was during dinner that my eldest pipes up, “About this being a mother. You’re not very good at it.” There was just enough time for me to feel like the world’s worst parent before she added, “But you’re still the best mum I’ve ever had.” Right on cue they both laughed and smiled at me and there it was: the one (and only) goddess moment of my week.


    But it was worth it!


    I'd love to hear how you may have represented yourself as something and then thought "If only they knew!"

    Bye for now
    Vic x